Love locked stuck inside

In this image, I have drawn and painted my emotional world, using an analogy of slow flowing river. The eddy currents in the image are of affection (pink), hopelessness (gray), exhaustion (black). A river of my love was not flowing freely because of uneven bed of bolsters of rock (uneven blocks - self created obstructions - avoidance, withdrawal, diffidence, surrounded by brick red enthusiasm).

Even though I was aware of my inner state, I was unable to work on my negative emotions, on my own.

I was fed up of my lousy, creepy state and frequently felt stuck on my journey towards self growth. I described myself as a person sitting in the driver's seat of a car, one foot pressing the accelerator and another pressing the break, at the same time. My car was heated, its screws were rusted, tires were flat, ventilation was poor. The car was standing by the side of the road, on the ascend of treacherous mountains.